i just finished watching a really good show on tv, i dont know what the name was. but it really made me think about the perspective of life and memories. Why do we always remember the bad, but have a hard time of remembering the good?
i fondly remember Riley as a baby, he is only TWO!! how could i have forgotten the things about him that i love so much? The way his skin felt, the fresh baby smell, the softness of his hair, and his cry? ive tried to remember so hard it makes my head hurt.
But when he was first born i remember telling myself to take in every part of him, memorize his tiny features, the way his body squirmed and wiggled, his laughter. I just dont remember, it makes me sad. You cant go back and relive memories, this i know. i have tried way to many times to picture myself asa child. Some things that i have forgotten and i would give anything in this world to remember.
I want to remember the sound of my Mothers voice, i dont. The smell of her hair, the feel of her arms hugging me. oh, i would giveanything to have that one more time.
once Sawyer was born i told myself that i wouldnt forget, i always want to remember and never let my mind forget them. and already i am struggling. Pictures are the closest things that i have to make everything become real to me.
i wish i could bottle up every cry and every giggle and then when i need to, spread those memories out and just remember. i want to hear laughter spilling out from every room.